


The Bet

by mads_kicks_ass



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Deity Au, M/M, a literal fucking shitpost, shipost, smexy shit idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-20
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2018-12-31 23:19:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12143295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mads_kicks_ass/pseuds/mads_kicks_ass
Summary: Legend has it that Mark can never get flustered or turned sumbmissive. Jon and Eduardo make a bet on it. (Based on a Deity AU which belongs to tomuardo on tumblr.)





	The Bet

**Author's Note:**

> Deity AU belongs to tomuardo on tumblr. i LOVE IT TOO MUCH,, Also only half of this is serious because my existence is one big shitpost.

"What the hell are you doing?" Mark asked his fellow deity, glaring daggers at his hand, which also happened to be groping the blond's chest area.

"Uhm..." Eduardo was starting to sweat, "n-nice nips there. Just... making sure they're protected." he stuttered the excuse.

"Get the fuck out of my presence."

Eduardo hung his head down like a scolded child and made his way out of Mark's throne room. He saw Jon trying to contain his laughter by putting a hand over his mouth. This was embarrassing. He had been trying to get Mark flustered for 2 days now, but the buff fucker seemed to have no enrogenous zones whatsoever. He was always smug and almighty, it was pissing Eduardo off. He and Jon made a bet on who could get him flustered first, and even though Jon hadn't had his turn yet, Eduardo doubted anyone would win.

"As if you could do better!" Eduardo yelled angirly at his friend, who was now trying not to kill hilmself from laughing too much.

Just that moment, one of the many servants came closer to Jon and handed him a glass of... water? The liquid was as clear as day, but Eduardo had his suspicions. 

"The hell's that?" he asked, pointing a finger at the mysterious liquid.

"You'll see!" Jon giggled as he made his way to Mark's throne.

Eduardo tried to make sense of this. He scratched his head, a habit he had while thinking, and then it came to him. That little shit was using an aphrodesiac! Wasn't that cheating? He poked his head in to see the scene unfold.

"Care for a drink, Mark?" Jon asked, flashing one of his trademark adorable smiles. Aside from his physical structure, that boy looked nothing like a god.

"I only drink wine." Mark answered, his eyes not even twitching.

"B-but... uhm.." 

"Fine, I'll try it. Just to get you out of my face." Mark sighed and took the glass in his hand. First Eduardo, now Jon. Why was everyone trying to disturb his peace today? Was one day of silence too much to ask for?

Jon grinned brightly and exited the room with a bit of skipping. He stuck his tongue out as soon as he saw Eduardo, as if to taunt him.

Mark brought the glass close to his lips and in one swift gulp, it was empty. It tasted unusual, but he immedietly figured it out. He'd been tricked time and time again with this shit by his servants, just so they could get a quick fuck. Though, he was immune to aphrodesiacs. Even those who could make any other deity drop on their needs and scream for cock. Mark glared at his door. He knew he would have a talk with his fellow deities.

...

Jon and Eduardo had been going at it for days. They tried pretty much everything and all they managed to do was annoy Mark with every attempt to make him flustered. The blond had them in his throne room for a talk, pacing back and forth with an annoyed experssion glued on his face.

"Seriously, what in all hell are you trying to do?" he asked, his eyes throwing daggers at the other two.

Jon and Eduardo jumped slightly, sharing the same worrying experssion. Mark could knock them out in less than a second if he wanted to and they were not about take any risks.Jon tried to speak up first but his fear wouldn't allow it. Eduardo just started looking in different directions to avoid confrentation. What were they expected to say anyway? It was beyond obvious what they were trying to do, yet Mark persisted on hearing an answer.

Mark lew out a long, hoarse sigh while rubbing his temples. He was so enraged he was basically sweating and he felt as if his jewerly was getting too tight on him. He hastily took off the gold jewerly on his neck, breathing out a sigh of relief. 

While Eduardo was still looking in every possible direction but Mark's, Jon's eyes suddenly lit up at the skin exposed in front of him. He had seen Mark's neck only a handful of times, but it always surprised him. The blond God's neck was paler compared to the rest of his body, wide and muscular. Jon felt drawn to it and didn''t even notice himself inching forward.

Mark turned his head to the other two's direction and blinked his eyes when he saw Jon coming close to him. Before he could say anything, Jon's soft hand grabbed the blond's neck and started to stroke it. 

Mark felt like he was on cloud nine. Blood rushed to his cheeks and he felt his vision clouding up. He let out a very, very quite whine, which Jon managed to pick up. The brunette kissed the other's neck, his tongue just poking it lightly. Mark immedietly grabbed Jon by the hair which earned him a pant. Jon used his right hand to stroke the back of Mark's neck while he licked his Adam's apple with his tongue.

Mark was sweating, panting louder and louder while digging his nails into Jon's back. Eduardo was now staring at the scene infront of him, getting pretty hot and bothered himself.

"F-fuck, Jon!" Mark mewled and rubbed his face in Jon's hair.

Jon giggled, sending vibrations against the deity's neck. Mark moaned lowly and pulled Jon away from him, making sure their eyes met. Mark's eyes were wet and out of focus, while Jon was looking happier than ever. Jon grabbed Mark's hand and licked his fingers in a seductive manner, not midning all the rings on them. Mark grit his teeth, trying to keep his pride but it proved useless.

"Fuck me r-right now, Jon! F-fucking now!" He moaned out, his other hand trying to get the cloth off his crotch.

Jon smiled and took the cloth away, slowly drumming his fingers on Mark's cock. Mark sat on his throne and pulled at Jon's hair, hoping he would get the hint. But oh boy, was Jon a tease. Jon started stroking the blond's cock slowly and lightly, putting his tongue on the tip. Mark was about to explode, he needed more stimulation.

"I want your cock in me!" he yelled, his grip on Jon's hair getting tighter.

"WHAT THE FUCK-" 

"WhAt ThE FuCk" the Author responded.

"What the hell? Why are you inserting yourself in a fictional story?" Eduardo asked in disbelief.

"Speaking of inserting shit..." the Author pointed at the two deities, taking a sip of white wine. "Mark is getting his bara ass impaled by Jon's dongle."

Eduardo gave up. He just can't. He fucking left because the author is a piece of shit who doesn't know what she's doing.

Meanwhile, Jon was thrusting into Mark's ass with force and speed beyond humane. Jon's hand was still stroking Mark's neck, which made Mark squeal and whine in ecstasy. The blond's hips were pushing back, trying to meet Jon's cock. Jon leaned forward, biting Mark's neck. That fucking did it. Mark let out a straining moan, ejaculating all over the marbled floor. His legs stated shaking and he fell face-first into the ground out of exhaustion. Jon pulled out, grinning and shouting something among the lines of "You owe me, Duardy!" 

"I just used the word ejaculate instead of come, I'm smart as shit." The Author grinned. She be a shitpost. This fic be a shitpost. Eduardo is still screaming around the mansion. He went outside, he never came home. 1 like, 1 prayer of nipple-rings man (Eduardo).


End file.
